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Sucky Day…

I missed posting last night.  I went running after work and we ended up doing 6 miles.  I didn’t get home until around 8 pm and I still had to cook since I had chicken that was defrosted and needed to be cooked.  So, I ended up eating dinner at around 9 pm.  Pictured here is what I cooked last night (and ate again tonight).  It’s the Chicken Piccata from the Everyday Paleo cookbook and roasted Brussel Sprouts.  Yum!

So, today was “Suck Day” at the gym.  We were supposed to go in and work on things we suck at.  It was actually good timing for me since I ran last night.  I went in and did lots of foam rolling and worked on a couple of things – burpees and presses.  But, most of what I did was mobility.  So, I’m considering today a rest day.  I tell ya…rolling my IT Band is like the worse thing in the world.  It really does make me want to cry.

Tonight we also had a meeting of the 90 Day Challengers that are feeling like they are in a slump.  I’m not sure how I feel about it yet.  The issue of struggling with food came up.  I felt as if the things I was talking about didn’t resonate with a lof of people.  I felt alone with some of the challenges I’ve had around food.  A few people did seem to have similar experiences but most seemed to have different experience.  It’s just frustrating.  I was sitting there thinking that I’m 40 years old and still I haven’t figured out this food thing yet.  I don’t know what the answer is.  I wish I did.  I’m just going to try to stay on track the best I can for the rest of the Challenge and take it from there.

Food today:

Breakfast – Green Smoothie with protein powder (spinach, avocado, banana and frozen strawberries)

Lunch – chicken piccata and tomato soup

Snack – hard-boiled egg, apple, cashews

Dinner – chicken piccata and brussel sprouts, baby carrots blueberries

I’m fighting the urge to keep eating fruit.  I know I already had to many carbs with dinner.  I’m going to try to go to bed early to avoid temptation.  I’m so over this day…

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PR!

Today’s WOD was a good one. It was 5 rope climbs, 5 clean and jerks, 4 climbs, 4 c&js, 3, 2, 1. You were supposed to go up on the c&j each time. I was going to do ring rows instead of the cargo net, which was what the scaling option for the rope climbs was, but as we were about to start, Dean called a bunch of us out and said we should do the cargo net…so I did! I didnt go all the way to the top, but I went about 3/4 of the way up. I hit a pr on my c&js. I did the first 5 at 65 lbs, 4 at 85 lbs, 3 at 90, 2 at 95 and 1 at 100. That’s the first time I got 100 pounds over my head! It was a killer wod. Plus, we also did tabata grasshoppers! Ugh! No crossfit for me tomorrow. I’m going to run after work instead.

I made my first green smoothie today. I used almond milk, spinach, avocado, banana and frozen strawberries. Pretty good, a good way to get more veggies. I’m going to try some different recipes.

Well I’m going to keep it short tonight since I’m doing this on my phone.

Per wod: egg cupcake

Post wod: green smoothie, 2 links turkey sausage

Lunch: jerky and chocolate almond bark

Dinner: turkey burger and tomato soup

Snack: pineapple and almonds

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Long Weekend

It’s late Sunday night, but I’m not in bed yet because I’m off tomorrow!  Love these long weekends!  I have a lot to do tomorrow and will be starting it out with a WOD at ACF…probably at 9 am.  I didn’t WOD today.  I ran instead because it’s been so nice out!  I ran 4.2 miles and it took me just over 46 minutes.  I’m supposed to run on Tues. night with a group from my 10k training program and they are planning on running 6 miles.  So, since I hadn’t run more than around 3 miles for months, I figured I’d better get out there and build up some distance.  I ran pretty slow today.  I’ll have to pick it up on Tuesday since I’ll be running with other people.  We’ll see how I do.  The one good thing is that it’s supposed to be great weather!

So, I finally went grocery shopping today.  I got stuff to make a couple different recipes for the week.  I’ll work on that tomorrow afternoon.  I also got the stuff to try to make some “green smoothies” – greens and fruit blended into a smoothie.  I got spinach, avocado, bananas and frozen berries.  This is my attempt to get more veggies into my diet.  People say that they taste pretty good.  I find that a little hard to believe by the looks of them, but I’ll let you know.

So, food today was OK.  I didn’t start out the day with a regular meal and then I went over to a friend’s tonight and had appetizers instead of dinner, but I did OK.  Again, it’s alwasy easier for me to stay on track when I’m working.  The structure helps a lot.

Breakfast – lara bar, tea with honey

Pre-run – hard-boiled egg, blueberries, cashews

Lunch – bacon and sweet potato turkey burger, pineapple

snack – chocolate almond bark (homemade)

Dinner – 2 mini crustless quiches, carrots and dip, meatballs

snack – chocolate almond bark

Thank You, Body…

Today’s WOD was Crossfit Total (CFT).  It’s a 1 rep max back squat, press and deadlift.  I have done CFT before, but I was dreading this morning because of how I’ve been feeling this week, which is…like crap.  Feeling bad about my performace.  Feeling like I’m losing steam in this challenge.  And feeling down because of it.  So, today my score was 465.  I got 175 on my back squat…not exactly a PR, but better than my last CFT.  I had gotten 175 once but the last time I only got to 165.  If we had more time today, I would have tried 180, but I was happy to at least get back to 175.  My press sucked.  I only got to 65.  The other 2 times I’ve done CFT, I’ve gotten to 65 also.  So, no progress there.  It’s weird.  It’s like I hit a wall at 65.  I even tried to add just one pound weights today instead of jumping up the 5 pounds to 70 and I couldn’t get it.  I need to work on it.  I know this.  My deadlift was 225.  That was a PR.

So, you might be wondering about the title of this post.  Well, I had a little bit of an attitude shift today.  After the 7 am WOD, I left ACF and then came back at noon for yoga.  First time taking yoga at ACF.  I know I would soooo benefit from yoga.  I really should incorporate more into my routine, even if it means less WODs.  Anyway, as we were winding down in class, the instructor said to “thank your body for the work it has done”.  I know she meant the work it had done in the class, but it got me thinking.  I’ve spent all week being hard on myself.  I was disappointed with my low ranking in the competition.  I was disappointed yesterday because my weaknesses held my partner back and we finished last in our class (this is also the reason I didn’t say anything when people were looking for partners for the XY Games this week.  I’d be afraid to do a partner competition because I would worry about holding the other person back).  I was disappointed in my weak press this morning.  But when the instructor said that sentence, it kind of jolted me back to reality a bit.  When I’m old and more limited physically, I’m going to long for the days when I could do what I can do now.  God forbid I ever became disabled, do you think I would think back on my past and wish I had a better press or had finished higher in the Tri State Throwdown?  Uh…no.  I would think back to running, lifting, even doing freakin’ burpees, and wish I could do one more mile.  One more clean.  One more burpee.  For that matter, in 20 or 30 years, I’m not going to think back to this time in my life and think, “Damn!  I wish I was 10 pounds lighter back then!”  I’m probably going to think that I looked damn good, and wish I was kinder to myself. 

My body may not be able to do everything I think it should, the way I think it should.  But it does a lot for me.  It does things I never thought it could do.  If you read the “about me” of my blog, you know I was a heavy kid and was never an athlete.  I only started doing more physical stuff fairly recently.  My mother and some of my childhood friends often say they can’t believe the stuff I do now.  It’s true, it is quite a departure from the way I used to be.  And, unlike some people who grow up in active families and just start doing stuff as a kid because the rest of their family does it, I went out on my own and got it.  I had never hiked until I was in my late 20s, and now I’ve done quite a bit of hiking.  I ran my first mile at 37 and decided to run my first 5k at 39.  I’m going to run my first half marathon at 40, and who knows what after that?  I never lifted any weight heavier than 20 pounds until I started Crossfit at 37.  No one took me down this path.  There was no path for me.  I made my own.

So, the next time I feel bad about holding someone back, or that I should be further along than I am, or that I can’t do what other people can do, I need to remember that I can do a lot…for me.  I can do anything I want to do, and that is something that a lot of people can’t do.  I’m lucky that I’m healthy and I’m physically able.  I can continue to try to improve, but I also need to honor what my body can do today.  So, today I take my yoga instructor’s advice and say thank you to my body. 

Food today:

Post-WOD: protein shake, almonds and raisins

Breakfast: two eggs, 1 piece bacon, 1 link turkey sausage, orange and strawberries

Snack: jerkey and cashews

Dinner: Greek salad with chicken (Panera)

I know I didn’t eat enough today (skipped lunch).  Not that hungry and I need to go shopping because I’m  really low on food.  Grocery shopping tomorrow.

How Do I Get My Groove Back?

It’s been a rough week.  My eating has been so-so, but not great.  I know I didn’t lose any weight this week.  I just haven’t been able to get back to where I was before I went away and got sick.  Not sure what to do to get it back.  It’s crazy how you can be going along, feeling good, doing well and then you veer a little off track and can’t seem to get back to where you were a few days before.

So, I overslept this morning and missed the 7 am wod, so i hit the 4 pm.  It was a killer wod.  It was a partner wod and was: each partner does 250 row, 100 air squats, 250 row, 80 push presses, 250 row, 60 pull ups, 250 row, 40 burpees, 250 row.  AND, the kicker was that while one partner was working, the other partner had to hold a plank.  Oy!  I felt bad because me and my partner came in last, and I know I was the weak link.  I know I slowed her down, especially on the burpees.  I feel like I’m not progressing.  Then, I just looked and saw that tomorrow is Crossfit Total.  I dread it because of how I’m feeling.  I feel like it’s just going to frustrate me more.  I don’t feel like I’ve gotten stronger.  I don’t feel like my endurance is better.   But, enough of my negativity…

Food:

Breakfast – 2 eggs, 1 slice bacon, 1 link turkey sausage, orange, strawberries

Lunch – stuffed pepper

Snack – hard-boiled egg, apple, cashews

Dinner – food from Mamoun’s: falafal, grape leave, hummus, chicken skewer, salad (YUM!)

 

Addiction?

This was lunch and dinner tonight.  These are the stuffed peppers from the Everyday Paleo cookbook.  Made them last night.  They came out pretty good.  I could have added more spices, but sometimes I feel like the paleo recipes I’ve made have way too much oregano so I cut down on what the recipe called for.  They were a little plain, but I think with some tinkering, these could be really good.  And, it’s a good way to pack in a lot of veggies.

So, someone posted an article on the 90 Day Challenge Facebook page today about carbs being like crack.  I commented on the post because I so related to it…especially after my post last night about how I ate that chocolate that I was given by my co-worker.  I have been fighting with this idea that I’m addicted to sugar (primarily, but also carbs) for a number of years now.  I talked about this a little bit in the “About Me” section of this blog, but I am not the type of person who can have one cookie or half a piece of cake.  I used to be able to do that, but in recent years, once I start on sugar/carbs, all bets are off.  I can be really “good” for a while and then I start having that stuff, and I go crazy with it.  That’s what happened to me the past two holiday seasons.  I worked hard to lose weight all Fall and then gained it all back over the holidays by going crazy with sugar/carbs, only to struggle to get back on track.  That is one of the main reasons I decided to do the 90 Day Challenge.  I thought it would help me stay on track longer than I’ve been able to do on my own.

So, given my experience, logic would tell you that I just shouldn’t start eating sugar/carbs, right?  Yes, that is logical, but this is what I’ve been fighting.  I do not want to accept the fact that this is an addiction…because I know what that means.  I don’t want to go there.  I want to hang on to the illusion that I can have it “every once in a while”, even though my recent experience has shown me that I can’t.  You know the definition of insanity, right?  Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?  Yeah…

Since starting Crossfit and dabbling with paleo and the Zone, I have wondered if trying to be so restrictive is actually bad for me.  I’ve wondered if not having these foods at all leads me to an inevitable binge.  I’ve wondered if I’d be better off having some of it rather than making it be “off limits”.  But, like I said above, I have not be successful in moderating for some time.  This is the circular madness that has been going on in my head.

I don’t have the answer.  If you have it, let me know because I’m all ears.  This is something I’ve be battling, and I’ve been losing.  Here’s what I know.  In recent years, I have been most successful losing weight on the Zone, because left to my own devices, I will always eat  more of things that taste good than I should, whether that be cookies or almond butter.  The Zones blocks help me manage that.  I also know that when I don’t eat sugar and carbs, I don’t crave sugar and carbs.  What I don’t know is how to get myself to stay off of them.  Well, I guess I really do know, but I’m not willing to do it.  I guess it’s like it is with anything else…when it gets bad enough, I’ll change.  Why do we put ourselves through so much before we do what we know we need to do?

OK, onto my day today: I hit the 7 am WOD.  It was snatch transfer practice to start.  The WOD was 60 bar facing burpees, 30 OHS (I did 45 lbs.) and 10 muscle ups.  I never had to worry about how to scale those, because it was I never got to those.  I did the burpees and got through 25 OHSs before the 10 minutes ran out.  The last part of the WOD was 50 push ups.  You had to do 15 air squats everytime you rested.  I think I ended up doing 3 sets of squats.  I’m taking tomorrow off based on what Jason recommended for recovery following the Throw Down and will go again on Friday.  After that, I’ll be back to normal.

Food today:

Breakfast (post WOD): protein shake, raisins, almonds

Lunch: stuffed pepper

snack: hard boiled egg, apple, cashews

dinner: stuffed pepper, a little mashed cauliflower

snack: chocolate (the last of what I got yesterday…grr…)

Happy Valentine’s Day

Today is Valentine’s Day.  I’m single this year, so it’s not a big deal for me this year.  Not that it’s ever really a big deal when I’m dating someone either.  I was actually thinking this morning that I’m glad that Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean as much as it did when I was younger.  I would love to find a partner with whom I could share my life, but being single is OK today.

That all being said, today was not a good day for me food-wise.  My co-worker gave me some “treats” for Valentine’s Day.  And, I freakin’ ate them!  I’m so mad at myself!  I got home and put them in the freezer, which I’ve done before, but I went back and ate them a couple of hours later.  Not sure what’s up with me today.  I was hungry all day today.  I’m really frustrated.  I feel like since I was away and sick, I’ve lost some momentum.  This is what always happens to me.  I do really well being “strict” for a while and then I lose momentum and can’t get back on track.  What’s up with that???  It’s soooo frustrating.  I wish I could find the answer to this puzzle.  It’s had me stumped for years now…

I took off from ACF today at Jason’s suggestion.  I’m going in tomorrow morning for the 7 am WOD.  I think that will help to start tomorrow off on a better foot than today.

Food –

Breakfast: 2 eggs, 2 slices bacon, orange, strawberries

Lunch: turkey meatloaf, mashed cauliflower

snack: hard-boiled egg, apple, cashews

Dinner: turkey meatloaf, mashed cauliflower

snack: cookies, chocolates (DAMN!!!!)

Oh, BTW, I had my physical today.  I talked to my doctor about my flexibility issues and she ordered physical therapy.  I’m going to try to set that up soon.  It is in Clifton Park and I want to get going on it before my office moves downtown, which will probably be within the next couple of months.  More to come…